Broken Angel Mark

If you all happen to have a user named "Broken Angel Mark" added to you LJ buddy list, then that's my new one. Feel free to add it, as this one will be abandoned by the end of the week.

That is all.

For the past few years, you have been the one source I could turn to in need. Yet, it is time for me to move on with my life and abandon this old persona. We have had our share of good times and bad times. This is only the beginning, not the end.

gtrracer, signing off.

Today was a rather lackluster day.

Some birthday today was. Rain and cold weather NOT for the win.

Goodbye.

It has come time to reflect on my life for the past year. I'll post more tonight, as I'm in the middle of a change that I guess is needed. Like the new engine for the 86, it may be time to adjust myself to something more fitting to me. I am no longer a GTR Racer but am embracing being the Broken Angel Mark. I'll post more, since I have a lot to think about right now, some brought upon by my own revelations, some by my world.

gtrracer, you have served me well in the many years I had you. But it's time for me to move on.

I hereby declare Drama Week to be over. NOW.

I'm guessing it's that time of the month for people, so it's only bound to happen. It's kind of my fault, in a sense, that Drama Week came to fruitation in the first place. I thought that airing my feelings in this matter would be of the best intentions but it's only caused MORE FUCKING DRAMA! Not cool in my book, especially between friends.

Ever since then, shit has been happening: some for the good, some for that bad.

Good:
-Get my check tomorrow and then maybe some DS action is in order. I also need to buy a controller for my laptop, since I'm currently "borrowing" Alan's controllers.
-Last night was much needed in terms of relaxing. Alex, I should have gone 'party-hopping' with you. We could have practiced our 'shedding our good guy image'. Alan, mad props for beating Steve and getting the aura and for making me realize I need to whoop your ass more in GGXX. TJ, Cavin and Jon, awesome party you guys.
-Bitrhday is coming up soon. I feel so old, yet the age is not really anything special. Thinking we should have a get-together soon.
-Settling down on a Halloween costume. I have an idea but I need some help with it. Gloria, if you read this, contact me ASAP or I'll talk to you in person. Or Sherry. Same applies as well.
-I realized I'm not as emo as some people *coughalfredough*, so I promise to tone it down. Once things get past this week, then I should be fine.

Bad:
-I'm behind in some of my school work but it shouldn't be too hard to get back to all of it. Tonight is 'work-my-ass-off' night.
-I came to the conclusion I should have come to earlier: I need to worry less and live more. Bad because it took me this long to get it and to begin to apply it.

To Don: Sorry if I said shit that offended you or said something fucked up. I realized I might have been wrong and you had your opinion to express. I apologize and want to remain friends.

Peace.

This will now be the new default icon for my LJ. I wanted to put this in forgotten_turk but since it's emo free, this one seemed a better place to put it. ^_^



For the next few days, this is how my life goes down:

Now until 12:30ish - Read for Japanese Lit.
12:30 to 2:30 - Study for my LAb Methods Exam
3:00 to 5:00 - Class
5:00 to 10:00 - Work T.T
10:00 to 12:00 - Gator Nights/Random crap

Sat and Sun
9:00 to 5:00 - Work
5:00 to whenever - Lab work for my supervisor.


o/` Schoolwork makes go emo. o/` *breaks out in dance*

Well, today has been quite the depressing day. I don't feel like expressing it all but a test, followed by work, followed by class, followed by one sad night of gaming, comes around full circle with my life.

So, yeah.

I got my ass handed to me royally tonight by not only Wong but Jeff too in Guilty Gear XX. I just couldn't get the right mindset and ended up getting really pissed off at my lack of abilities. I got a lot better by the end of the night but still not enough to bring me back to my original standing. My Ky is really off, though he has his good moments when the timing adds up right. Testament is in need of some serious reworking, as a lot of my major combos were non-existant throughout the night. Eddie is still close to second but Slayer is going to be my main, plain and simple. I get the best results with him and can learn a lot more about how Wong and Jeff play by using him. My biting got better as the night went along but it's still not enough to put a instant stagger on them. Nine times out of ten, however, it doesn't work and I end up only looking at mediocre damage when I could have pushed even more bites.

Now for the problem. I'm staring at a lot of work in the next few weeks, but this issue is nagging on my mind. I want to get better to the point that I can consistantly beat Jeff and Wong but it's going to be tough. I want to also play more of FFVII, since Beans has now finished Disc 1 and I'm still moving toward the Temple of the Ancients.

Bah, work tomorrow from 9-5, then shower, homework until who-knows-when, maybe some gaming, then sleep and another week.

Oh, and I finally made a decision about the two LJ deal. This one is going to be semi-emo from time to time, while Forgotten Turk will be emo-free, for the most part. I feel that making the new LJ requires me to not make the same mistakes.

~MaRk

I made a new LJ tonight on a whim. It's going to start out as my gaming, anime, etc LJ but I can see it being a new lj in the next few weeks. The new one is forgotten_turk. Please add it as soon as you can, as I may switch soon.

I originally made this LJ to fit with my personality but I'm starting to feel disconneted from this one. The GTR is no longer part of who I am, so I felt that maybe I needed to move onto something else. I recently became fascinated with the Turks from FFVII and thought of using that as a motif for right now. I'll probably use that for a bit, as well as BrokenAngelMark.

You're probably thinking, "Why didn't you make it BrokenAngelMark?" Well, I had thought of that but I came to realize that I'm trying to be less emo and less depressed, so I might as well move to something that brings me pleasure. We'll see.

~Mark, aka The Forgotten Turk

Another night lost to FFVII.

I just got back from Disney World. Had a blast at Epcot, though didn't get to do anything today. But it's cool. I'm going back the weekend before my birthday, so it's all good.

HW and FFVII call now. Peace.

Well, last night was really cool. I went over to Wong's house to see Advent Children. There will be a seperate topic for that once I have it on CD and do a through watching of it. All I can say is that I'm throughly impressed with the quality of it.

Square-Enix: Hey there, Mark.
Mark: Hi, Square-Enix. I heard Advent Children is going to be good.
S-E: Think of it as sort of a condolence for The Spirits Within.
*After seeing it*
Mark: You are forgiven.

But I wake up this morning and I have the worst hit of sadness in my life. I just stopped and thought about everything I have to do to make myself get motivated to work toward my future and it's killing me. I want to feel good but I can't find the words. I need to do laundry, shower, homework, clean the room, apply for the GRE, work, find time to ask a girl out, and about a million other things to get done by the end of this year.

I'm gonna need all the support I can get. I know I can count on you all.

Thanks for everything,
Mark-kun

EDIT: Before starting my day, I happened to come to find this. Kind of cute and it made me smile.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/22451106/

I forgot to mention this. This incident requires it's own LJ post.

Beans and I were leaving the Reitz after Gator Nights this past week. It's was about 1:30 in the morning and since my car was in garage five, we left out the Wachovia side of the Reitz. As we're walking down the side road, talking about Initial D Arcade Stage, I notice an Asian woman dressed kind of gothy and a male of unknown race with a suit and dark sunglasses. I thought the male was a bit odd but passed no mind of it. The woman looked to be about 19-21, though it was hard to tell, as the only illumination was a streetlight near the corner. So Beans and I keep talking as I notice the male lean in to talk to the female. As we approach, I heard the last thing I had ever thought of.

"You guys want to have a good time?"

I hesitated for a moment before telling the woman, "No thanks. I'm not interested." I then started right back up into conversation until we got to about the Physics building. I then turned the conversation to the proposition.

Me: "That was kind of odd."
Beans: "You know she was a prostitute, right?"
Me: "Nah, they had to be part of some acting troupe or something. Ya know, to promote something."
Beans: *stares at me* "Don't tell me you honestly think that? It's 1:30 in the morning, on a Friday night/early Saturday morning, on a college campus."
Me: "I just don't think they would be selling sex on campus, in front of the Reitz nevertheless."

What would everyone else make of this? And would you have taken the offer or passed like Beans and I did?

Best quote out of that: Beans saying, "I should have asked, 'That depends on which one of you is offering.'"

My head feels like it's about to explode. I do not approve of that in the slightest.

If only I could find my aspirin...

Wow. I am throughly impressed with Family Guy. It's back with quite the vengence. The amount of people they were able to get to make guest appearances is nice. The Raiders of the Lost Ark at the end: classic. The only thing I didn't get was the sheep part. It kind of went over my head. Any suggestions?

Time for food! (aka, BK)

Well, work seems to be all right. I stayed longer than I intended to (one manager told me stay till nine, the night manager asked me to say till all closing was done) but it's extra money. The bad part is that I've been on my feet for over 13 hours with no resting, other than some Initial D. I am now known, according to TJ, as "Bad Beat" Mark in Initial D. The reason for this was that Hans was playing and raving about how good the RX-8 was. So I pulled mine out (my RX-8, you freaks) and challenged him. I asked what course he wanted to play, so he chose Happo IB Dry. I beat him on that course and then he took me Iro DH Dry. I had never played the course in far too long with my RX-8 but I got the hang of it fairly quickly. Beat him there too. I was hoping he wouldn't challenge me again, as TJ had shown up and wanted to renew his 8V on the right side. But Hans was determined and asked me what my worst course was. I said Akina DH, since I know the RX-8 was horrible on that course. So he chooses Akina DH WET. Another win, as Hans gave up near the end and just turned around.

TJ challenges me in my RX-8 to Akina DH Dry with his 86 Trueno. I get the start and block him at the get go. I knew the Trueno would take the turns faster and I wasn't as prepared to race as I would have liked to be. So I did the one thing that I could do: blocked. Blocked like there was no tomorrow. I somehow managed to block TJ the entire stretch of the course, form the beginning to the end. Afterwards, he called it a "Bad Beat" since I blocked like a maniac. I think I may not use the RX-8 for a bit >.<

Well, odd tangents aside, I need to go shower and get some sleep. I was going to play FFVII when I got off work but now I'm too tired to even do so. Plus I have class at 9:30 tomorrow, so I cannot sleep till 10 like I did today. I have class, then work from 11-2, then class at 3 or something. Then I need to go buy a book for Murphy's class, read said book, and do some other reading.

Well, after a series of emo posts and other random shit, I hope my life is getting back to a more normal state. Classes are going well, I have a good feeling about my new job, and I hope to have everything lined up nice and neatly in the coming months.

I know this new job is going to cut into my free time, especially the weekends ( I forsee working the weekends for a good amount of the time). Hopefully I can somehow work around that and hang with people at night if they can give me the time. I told them I only wanted to work a max of 20 hours a week, so hopefully I can pull some shifts on the weeknights and then have only like a short shift on the weekends, thereby giving me the time to relax. Oddly enough, LJ wasn't the first place I posted my new job. The first person to actually know I got a new job was this girl I know. LJ was one of the last place I told of this development.

I need to read for Japanese Fiction now, so I'm cutting it short.

Ciao.

Well, well. This is something that completely took me by surprise.

I went to my job interview and am going to be working at Broward Dining ~20 hours a week. I see my weekends getting less social but it's something I need to do. Here's to me not getting worked over on this one. *drinks*

I also went out and bought FFVII, as everyone tells me to play that in favor of 8. My first impression is that this is completely different from VIII. For starters, the Materia system threw me off for a bit before I got the hang of it. All cure is very helpful. I have only put 2 hours so far into it (I only meant to play for an hour) and I'm very pleased with it so far. The bad part is that it came as bare-bones as they get; I only have the discs and a ghetto case to hold them in. No manual, no PSX case. But it's not like it's a pressing concern when most of it is explained to you in the game. Once I finish my work tonight, I may push further in the game. 8:30 class = the lose for gaming.

I wanted to watch some NFL tonight but the only game playing is a FSU vs Miami game on ABC. Since when did they play games on a Monday night?

I'm off to shower and be all emo-ish. :P Ciao.

EDIT: People say this looks like me. Does it really?



EDIT2: I now blame Kidd Reige for my choice of listening to Happy Hardcore.

( Is this really me? )

( Info under the cut )

So the cycle begins. This feeling of sadness and regret begins anew, seeking to consume me for another semester.

Will I let it consume me? I'll try not to but I make no promises. There's just something about this year that is threatening to pull me apart.

Maybe it's the realization that everything I've worked for will be for nothing? Maybe it's the reality that I'm not the kind of person I want to be and always do something that causes me pain? Maybe it's the anxiety of everything in my life building up to the point that discussing it won't change the matter?

Whatever it is, it has consumed my life force and placed me in a very depressive mood for the week. I need to find a reason to go on with everything before I end up doing something I'll regret.

I just peace in my life for once.